A life in Formation...How do we bond with each other?

As the Director of Formation for Most Holy Name Fraternity in Little Falls, NJ very often people who are in initial formation will ask me questions like "how do I know I am in the right place," or "how do I get to know those in the fraternity?"  And what I have come to learn in my five years as a member of the Secular Franciscan community is that community is more than just the meetings that we come to attend.  It is more than just the service that we do.  As one friend put it to me, "Fraternity is all about the bonds that we create."
          She went on to say that in fraternity, "we are not just here for ourselves, but we are here for one another."  After thinking about these words, I realized just how right she actually is.  Nearly seven year ago, I began the journey of becoming a member of the OFS community.  And though I began this journey because I realized that it was a call from God for me after so many years of working for and with the Friars, I soon came to realize that I am more there for others than I am for myself.
          I became very close with one member of the group that I would be professed with nearly five and a half years ago.  Little did I know that soon she would be going on a journey that would take her home to the Father's arms to spend eternity with Jesus - the one she love more than anyone.  Many of us from the Fraternity and the parish got to journey through various parts of her journey home with her.  But I felt especially lucky (while at the same time feeling sad), because we got to share conversations and times of silence just sitting and being ... which drew us closer to one another and closer to God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
          Following her death in my grieving process, I had times that I just did not desire to be around the community that we call fraternity.  For a good number of months, I found every reason to avoid the monthly meetings because I could not deal with my own pain and sadness. But as one friend, who is not part of the fraternity said to me, "That was rather selfish. You have always been there for one another and it is not all about you.  Did you ever think that you were being called to help others deal with their grief as well?"
          I had to admit that I did not think that way.  What I realized is that even as Director of Formation for my fraternity God has a lot of forming yet to do in me.  We are here not just for ourselves but as St. Paul writes in Ephesians (4:11-15):

          "And he gave some as apostles, others as prophets, others as evangelists, others as    

           pastors and teachers, to equip the holy ones for the work of ministry, for building up 

           the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of faith and knowledge of the Son of 

           God, to mature manhood, to the extent of the full stature of Christ, so that we may no 

           longer be infants, tossed by waves and swept along by every wind of teaching arising 

           from human trickery,from their cunning in the interests of deceitful 

           scheming.  Rather, living the truth in love, we should grow in every way into him who

           is the head, Christ."

We are here for one another -- each of us with different gifts for different purposes -- to build up that body of Christ to make us strong to do the work of the Kingdom of God.  Sometimes this is in service to one another, sometimes it is in service to the poor, the homeless, the young, sometimes it is going out for a meal with our fraternity members, or a movie.  Whatever way we are called to build up the body is what Christ asks us to do.

So now I have some questions for thought.  Please feel free to leave a comment or two that builds up the body to make us strong in Christ and in fraternity/community.  Please keep it positive.

1. How, when, and where do we bond with other members of our fraternities?
2. Do we do this often enough outside of the standard meetings?
3. How do we welcome new members in formation and get to know them?
4. Is fraternity about what I need or for the wider Body of Christ?